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Noel Games in the Shalanka... by ~HerrheRR:iconHerrheRR:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Fixed


Kaleidoscope tongues oscillate -
caroling lop-sided tra-la-la
chemicals, topside brains; seines
sliding gaudville lights on sleighs
to commute clauses and a lawless
loll (on teetering teeth see-saws)
that seats me like some off-tossed
hips for this bucking-fuck-acronym

I try to recapture pasts with a hand
against kids in a game of jacks,
but I’m hunted by a pack of ip-dip
incantations, and the delineation
on the tarmac; the braille on their lips
is illegible, and their eyes shine
like diamonds in a teleidoscope,
or the rainbow light-bulbs on the tree
©2007-2009 ~HerrheRR
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Submitted: December 25, 2007
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full title - "Noël Games in the Shalanka Playground"
Daily Deviation, 2008-01-09

Daily DeviationNoel Games in the Shalanka... by ~HerrheRR. "Brilliant sonics power this short piece of glitter-games, poignant memories, and a noël unlike the run-of-the-mill sort." (Suggested by =Adeimantus and Featured by `PoeticWar)

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Comments


=Adeimantus:iconAdeimantus: Dec 25, 2007, 1:05:31 PM
Sweet. Your sonics are brill.

I see you've been infected with the dash-v-i-r-u-s.

:P

--
The discipline of the written word punishes both stupidity and dishonesty. ---John Steinbeck
`WineWriter:iconWineWriter: Dec 25, 2007, 1:10:21 PM
I love the past pace your using in this. It makes me want to continue to read, but it's only two stanzas long! You make use of each line and I can imagine each image you describe very clearly.

--
Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
~HerrheRR:iconHerrheRR: Dec 25, 2007, 1:41:57 PM
Thank you very much=)

Hahaha, I actually have no idea why some of them are there - thanks for pointing it out.

--
_________________________
when will children learn to let their wildernesses burn?
and love will be new--never cold and vacant.
~HerrheRR:iconHerrheRR: Dec 25, 2007, 1:48:53 PM
Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!
Yes, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to write much more than that for a poem. I become too bored, haha.

--
_________________________
when will children learn to let their wildernesses burn?
and love will be new--never cold and vacant.
`WineWriter:iconWineWriter: Dec 25, 2007, 2:31:12 PM
Well, I don't usually write more than three stanzas anyway, so I'm not one to talk.

--
Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
=salshep:iconsalshep: Dec 25, 2007, 3:23:25 PM
Not fond of the no-stops at strophe-ends.

Good, solid work here. Definately a keeper. Polish it up, send it somewhere.

--
<salshep> <ordie>I should wite something awsome
<salshep> It's true
<ordie> You're write. That's my one-size-fits-all reort.

#Cabal. Because someone needs to be.
~HerrheRR:iconHerrheRR: Dec 25, 2007, 4:50:04 PM
Many thanks!:D
I'll see what I can do..

Send it, hm? I've never done that before. Where would you suggest?

--
_________________________
when will children learn to let their wildernesses burn?
and love will be new--never cold and vacant.
~HerrheRR:iconHerrheRR: Dec 25, 2007, 7:24:44 PM
Ah! as they say - quality not quantity, eh?=]

--
_________________________
when will children learn to let their wildernesses burn?
and love will be new--never cold and vacant.
`WineWriter:iconWineWriter: Dec 25, 2007, 7:33:17 PM
Heh, I own that saying ^^ My most famous excuse.

--
Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
=salshep:iconsalshep: Dec 29, 2007, 10:20:22 PM
hi hon, sorry it's taken a while to get back. you could check out duotrope -- it's a list of publications, and they're pretty good. have a look through some of the better ones and see if your poem might fit there. you could try shit creek review, or chimaera, i have sent stuff there, as well as mimesis, there's umbrella, too, pretty good from what I hear. but duotrope is your best bet for research. : )

--
<salshep> <ordie>I should wite something awsome
<salshep> It's true
<ordie> You're write. That's my one-size-fits-all reort.

#Cabal. Because someone needs to be.
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